Mishnayos Nedarim Perek 11 Mishnah 12
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נדרים פרק י"א משנה י"ב
Initially the Sages would say that three women are divorced even against their husbands’ will, and nevertheless they receive payment of what is due to them according to their marriage contract. The first is the wife of a priest who says to her husband: I am defiled to you, i.e., she claims that she had been raped, so that she is now forbidden to her husband. The second is a woman who says to her husband: Heaven is between me and you, i.e., she declares that he is impotent, a claim she cannot prove, as the truth of it is known only to God. And the third is a woman who takes a vow, stating: I am removed from the Jews, i.e., benefit from sexual intercourse with any Jew, including my husband, is forbidden to me. They subsequently retracted their words and said that in order that a married woman should not cast her eyes on another man and to that end ruin her relationship with her husband and still receive payment of her marriage contract, these halakhot were modified as follows: A priest’s wife who says to her husband: I am defiled to you, must bring proof for her words that she was raped. As for a woman who says: Heaven is between me and you, the court must act and deal with the matter by way of a request, rather than force the husband to divorce his wife. And with regard to a woman who says: I am removed from the Jews, her husband must nullify his part, i.e., the aspect of the vow that concerns him, so that she should be permitted to him, and she may engage in sexual intercourse with him, but she is removed from all other Jews, so that if he divorces her she is forbidden to all.
בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה הָיוּ אוֹמְרִים, שָׁלשׁ נָשִׁים יוֹצְאוֹת וְנוֹטְלוֹת כְּתֻבָּה, הָאוֹמֶרֶת טְמֵאָה אֲנִי לְךָ, שָׁמַיִם בֵּינִי לְבֵינֶךָ, נְטוּלָה אֲנִי מִן הַיְּהוּדִים. חָזְרוּ לוֹמַר, שֶׁלֹּא תְהֵא אִשָּׁה נוֹתֶנֶת עֵינֶיהָ בְאַחֵר וּמְקַלְקֶלֶת עַל בַּעְלָהּ. אֶלָּא הָאוֹמֶרֶת טְמֵאָה אֲנִי לְךָ, תָּבִיא רְאָיָה לִדְבָרֶיהָ. שָׁמַיִם בֵּינִי לְבֵינֶךָ, יַעֲשׂוּ דֶרֶךְ בַּקָּשָׁה. נְטוּלָה אֲנִי מִן הַיְּהוּדִים, יָפֵר חֶלְקוֹ, וּתְהֵא מְשַׁמַּשְׁתּוֹ, וּתְהֵא נְטוּלָה מִן הַיְּהוּדִים:
Bartenura
האומרת טמאה אני לך. באשת כהן מיירי, דנאסרה לבעלה באונס ולא הפסידה כתובתה. והאמינוה חכמים לאסור עצמה על בעלה. וכיון דיוצאת בגט נוטלת כתובתה, דמספר כתובתה נלמוד, לכשתנשאי לאחר תטלי מה שכתוב ליכי:
השמים ביני ובינך. מפרש בגמרא, דאינו יורה כחץ, כלומר דברים דקמי שמיא גליא ואינה יכולה לברר. ומיירי בבאה מחמת טענה דאמרה בעינא חוטרא לידא ומרא לקבורה. דאי לאו הכי, אמרינן לה זילי לא מפקדת אפריה ורביה:
נטולה אני מן היהודים. שאסרה תשמיש של כל ישראל עליה. ואף על גב דאמרינן בפרק המדיר היכא דנדרה איהי דיוצאה בלא כתובה, דהיא נתנה אצבע בין שיניה, רש״י פירש ביבמות [דף קי״ב] כיון שאסרה הנאת תשמיש של כל ישראל עליה ודאי אנוסה היא כי קשה תשמיש לה, וסברה משנה ראשונה דאפילו דברים שבינו לבינה לא הוי, דאפשר שיגרשנה:
חזרו לומר כו׳ נתקלקלו הדורות וחששו שהיא משקרת להפקיע עצמה מתחת בעלה:
תביא ראיה לדבריה. ולא מהימנינן לה בלי ראיה:
יעשו דרך בקשה. יבקשו ממנה שלא תדבר עוד בו ובירושלמי מפרש יעשו סעודה ויפייס:
יפר חלקו ותהא משמשתו. דהוי דברים שבינו לבינה ומיפר לעצמו:
האומרת טמאה אני לך – we are speaking of the wife of a Kohen, that is forbidden to her husband through unavoidable acci and she does not lose her Ketubah [settlement]. And the Sages believed her to forbid herself upon her husband, and since she leaves [the marriage] with a Jewish bill of divorce, she takes her Ketubah [settlement], that from the document of her Ketubah we will learn, that when you get married to another [man], take what is written for you.
השמים ביני ובינך – It explains in the Gemara (Tractate Nedarim 91a) that [his] spermatic emission which does not permeate (i.e., shoot forth) like an arrow, that is to say, that things that are before heaven are revealed and she cannot verify them. And we are speaking of when she comes on account of a claim that she stated, that I require a staff for the hand and a master for the grave (which Rashi explains that the staff is for her to lean on in her old age and she dies, he will bury her) for it if is not this, we say to her, go, you do not have marital connection with “being fruitful and multiplying” (see Genesis 1:28 and 9:7 – as it is the male’s prerogative only).
נטולה אני מן היהודים – that she forbade sexual connection of all Israelites upon her. But even though we stated in the chapter [Tractate Ketubot, chapter 7; Talmud Ketubot 71a] “He who prohibits his wife by vow from deriving benefit from him,” where she vowed and she is divorced without a Ketubah [settlement] and she placed her finger between her teeth, Rashi explained in [Tractate] Yevamot [112a] since she prohibited the benefit of sexual intercourse of all Israelites upon her, she is certainly a victim of unfortunate circumstance, for sexual intercourse is difficult for her. And the earlier version of the Mishnah held that even things are that are between him and her don’t exist, and it is possible that he can divorce her.
חזרו לומר כו' – that the generations were corrupted and they suspected that she is lying to release her from under her husband.
תביא ראיה לדבריה – and we don’t believe her without proof.
יעשו דרך בקשה – they would request from her that she not speak any further to him, but in the Jerusalem Talmud it explains, “let them make a meal [together] and let him appease her.
יפר חלקו ותהא משמשתו – and these are things between him and her and he will absolve it to himself.