Mishnayos Nedarim Perek 5 Mishnah 6
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נדרים פרק ה׳ משנה ו׳
With regard to one who is prohibited by a vow from deriving benefit from another and he does not have anything to eat, the other may give the food to someone else as a gift and he is then permitted to eat it. The mishna recounts: An incident occurred involving someone in the city of Beit Ḥoron whose father had vowed not to derive benefit from him, and the son was marrying off his own son and wanted his father to be able to participate in the wedding meal. And he therefore said to another: The courtyard where the wedding will take place and the wedding meal are given before you as a gift, but only so that my father will come and eat with us at the meal. The recipient said: If they are mine, they are all hereby consecrated to Heaven, i.e., the Temple, and are forbidden to everyone. The son said to him in anger: And did I give you my property so that you should consecrate it to Heaven? He, the recipient, said to him: You gave me your property only so that you and your father would eat and drink and thereby appease each other, and the sin of transgressing the vow would be hung on his, i.e., my, head, as I enabled the transgression. The Sages therefore said: Any gift that is not so absolute so that if the recipient were to consecrate the gift it would be consecrated, is not a gift. In other words, in order for it to be a gift, the recipient must have the ability to consecrate it.
הַמֻּדָּר הֲנָאָה מֵחֲבֵרוֹ וְאֵין לוֹ מַה יֹּאכַל, נוֹתְנוֹ לְאַחֵר לְשׁוּם מַתָּנָה, וְהַלָּה מֻתָּר בָּהּ. מַעֲשֶׂה בְאֶחָד בְּבֵית חוֹרוֹן שֶׁהָיָה אָבִיו מֻדָּר הֵימֶנּוּ הֲנָאָה, וְהָיָה מַשִּׂיא אֶת בְּנוֹ, וְאָמַר לַחֲבֵרוֹ, חָצֵר וּסְעוּדָה נְתוּנִים לְךָ בְמַתָּנָה, וְאֵינָן לְפָנֶיךָ אֶלָּא כְדֵי שֶׁיָּבֹא אַבָּא וְיֹאכַל עִמָּנוּ בַּסְּעוּדָה. אָמַר לוֹ, אִם שֶׁלִּי הֵם, הֲרֵי הֵם מֻקְדָּשִׁין לַשָּׁמָיִם. אָמַר לוֹ, לֹא נָתַתִּי אֶת שֶׁלִּי שֶׁתַּקְדִּישֵׁם לַשָּׁמָיִם. אָמַר לוֹ, לֹא נָתַתָּ לִּי אֶת שֶׁלְּךָ אֶלָּא שֶׁתְּהֵא אַתָּה וְאָבִיךָ אוֹכְלִים וְשׁוֹתִים וּמִתְרַצִּים זֶה לָזֶה, וִיהֵא עָוֹן תָּלוּי בְּרֹאשׁוֹ. וּכְשֶׁבָּא דָבָר לִפְנֵי חֲכָמִים, אָמְרוּ, כָּל מַתָּנָה שֶׁאֵינָהּ שֶׁאִם הִקְדִּישָׁהּ אֵינָהּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת, אֵינָהּ מַתָּנָה:
Bartenura
מעשה בבית חורון וכו׳ בגמרא מפרש דמתניתין חסורי מחסרא והכי קתני, ואם הוכיח סופו על תחלתו אסור, ומעשה נמי בבית חורון באחד שהוכיח סופו על תחלתו וכו׳:
ואינן לפניך אלא כדי שיבא אבא ויאכל. אלמא לא נתנם אלא כדי שיבא אביו ויאכל, ואסור. אבל אם אמר הרי הן לפניך ואם רצונך יבא אבא ויאכל, מותר. ואם סעודתו מוכחת עליו שהרבה בסעודה יותר ממה שהיה צריך וניכרין הדברים שבשביל אביו עשה כדי שיבא ויאכל, אסור:
ומעשה בבית חורון וכו' – In the Gemara (Tractate Nedarim 48a), it explains that the Mishnah is deficient and should be read as follows: if its end proves/serves as evidence about its beginning, it is prohibited. And there is the episode in Bet Horon also with one whose last action demonstrated his first [as a mere evasion], etc.
ואינן לפניך אלא כדי שיבא אבא ויאכל – so we see that he didn’t give them [the courtyard and the food as a gift] other than in order that his father could come and eat, and that is prohibited. But if he had said: “Lo, these are before you, and if it is your desire that [my father] father comes and eats,” it is permitted. But if his meal shows/proves that it he increased the meal more than what he should have and these things are recognized that it was for his father that he did this in order that he would come and eat it is prohibited.